I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
