Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
