Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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