big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
