walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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