I want you more than these girls want KFC
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
