Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
