genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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