so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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