They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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