Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
