this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
