He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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