gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
