So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
