let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
