Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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