we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
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I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
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He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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