i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize