Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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