its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
