My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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