So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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