Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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