I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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