I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
