dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
