my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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