ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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