I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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