Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
