So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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