Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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