All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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