apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
