he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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