if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm always down for nudity.
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