Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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