the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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