Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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