It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
