tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize