They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
