Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my liver is dry heaving
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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