dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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