just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
