I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
