he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
