the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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