Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
