i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
