Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
