yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
