don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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