Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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