you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
