I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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