i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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