Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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