Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
